___Artist Statement___
( P o e m s , t h o u g h t s , i d e a s )
05.2010 top
I paint the influence a place I live in has on me.
The gist is to experiment and teach myself a mark making that allows me to express a sentiment. My work is abstract and mainly in Oil. This work deals with residue and traces, layers and movement. A place where past actions affect new actions. There is movement, and therefore layers, in everything, be it the lights of cars, graffiti, marks on the pavement, cuts and wrinkles on your body, layers in your personal life, or relationship with others. Everything leaves its traces and creates a skin or film on which something else will build.
Mein Wohnort und Leben hinterlassen einen Eindruck der meine Arbeit beeinflusst.
Meine Arbeit ist abstrakt und in Öl. Sie beschäftigt sich mit Spuren, Rückständen, Schichten und Bewegungen. Überall gibt es Bewegungen und Schichten; seien es die Scheinwerfer der Autos,
Graffiti an den Wänden, der Dreck auf dem Bürgersteig, Narben und Falten am Körper oder in zwischenmenschlichen Verhältnissen. Alles hinterlässt Spuren auf denen sich etwas Neues aufbaut.
09.2009 top
residue and traces, layers and movement. A place where past actions affect new actions and traces of something happened is left to lead the eye up to what happened after. I find that there is movement in everything and therefore there are layers in everything. Visible or not, everything leaves its traces, accidental or not, and creates a skin or film of sorts on which something else will build. Recently I have felt my work come further into focus and stand more confidently on its own, and as my own, thus allowing me to focus on the act of painting rather than a topic or theme.
29.10.2008 top
How can I make an abstract image have a weight to it? A weight of emotion, of importance? Like the importance you give your shadow.
Your shadow is you, but its an abstract of you, a part of you that has nothing to do with the real. Yet in it you can reflect whatever your emotion is, and it will take on that sentiment.
28.10.2008 top
I pick up on things that I pass throughout a day, little bits at a time. Memorizing or taking note -- by means of words or a photographs -- of colours, shapes or compositions that interest me. In basic it’s plainly based on visual pleasure of some kind or visual provocation. I do not commonly have personal feelings attached to these things that I pick up on, not on a conscious level at least. Over the course of a day I see, hear or read things and I collect what I find exciting -- in terms of how it might transform a painting, like little bits of collage. Then when I am in front of a canvas I can take from these sources and decide what might make that space in front of me stimulating to work with.
I question, too, what size everything should have in relation to the viewer, what angle it should be set at, what colour will give it what kind of effect.
27.10.2008 top
You have to take on people as they come to you in life.
Take them as they are and evolve around them.
If you realize that they have evolved around you too, well, then I guess you are lucky.
27.9.2008 top
Baroque, from the Portuguese barroco “a misshapen pearl”
Misshapen but beautiful, mysterious.
Rococo, the dramatic, lush, romantic, erotic; fresh young flesh.
Both something that touch you deeply -- your heart, your gut, your lust. These two periods are of fascination.
The depth that can be experienced by darkness and deep sorrowful music, touching that core of you you tend to forget during daily life. That you might like to forget in your lightness of day. But this deepness is one we unconsciously like, love, long for and appreciate when found.
8.8.2008 top
Strongest side
Bellow side
When mine, it doesn’t understand
Belong to them
When we travel, it rains
The frame so then it narrows
Creeps in, closer among us
To travel again with us alone
To frame the time, the time again
Among us, always around
Racing beneath me, within them
19.7.2008 top
Blue Stripe
You’re there
Float away, float
Aware
Clean, in white, and a stripe
A blue stripe along the side
The body clean
In awe I see
You’re floating, fine benign
Alone we’re not
Together we’re not
Why, now the understanding
Mutual, we speak, converse
Aware of each other, better
Than before
So now, it’s the boat,
A body, it floats, so clean
So white, the blue stripe
19.7.2008
Untitled
No name, no belonging
No description, no past
No being part of a memory
A certain kind of thought
A certain kind of knowing
No title, not part of my remembering
No explanation, its not part of an idea then
The title leads the way
It stands there as the sign that leads the mind
It allows the eye to see what I might see
So no name, no description
The mind will see something else
Lead its own way
I leave you to lead your own way
12.03.2008 top
An Egyptian queen,
She knew she was
Above all, she was right
As she sat there
White back
Facing it all, the thoughts
Turning her back to
Everything current
He too is in it,
A silhouette, an outline
Only taken from the back.
Because
He is not yet taken
In
Not yet understood
Thoughts move across
Bundle up, become tight.
10.2007 top
me, you, more
You take me
Further
Because you’re more
You give me more
Because you’re
Great
When you give
Me more
You give us
To us
Much more
Than many can
Give to one.
******
yellow, yellow
skateboarder in
between
cakes, pastries on the
right
woman w/ guitar case
******
All we have is now
fishing while you
dream
heading for a fall
2.2007 top
I wish to expand the viewers “lebensraum” to give them permission to feel simple pleasure just by what they are looking at without having to worry about what it might mean, what the theory behind it is, what the system is.
2.2007
Building a painting can be like building a sculpture. The first bit is always as ugly or unattractive to the strangers eye as the raw rock or metal skeleton. It takes layers, mistakes and corrections, thoughts that change and constant additions of new ideas to build a painting. A painting is never a fully realized idea before it is started. Boredom dawns on it if that were the case. However, this way of working also makes for several nights of sleeplessness and anxiety toward the approach of an empty canvas. Nevertheless, the emptiness or rather vast surface of perfect white has to be approached and an hour or two into the attack the painting knows whether it is mine or an act of pretense. (which will result in immediate discard or remodeling of the surface).
2006 top
The list of little beauties
- At the hairdresser I went to the other day they had little video screens one could watch while having the hair washed. At one point in midst the usual showing of latest fashion, stars and models there was a clip from a BBC nature documentary of Monkeys from Japan. They were tumbling around in the snow, thick beautiful gray fur. Then they jumped into a hot spring, bathing and relaxing just like humans at a spa.
- getting a random smile from someone, a stranger.
11.2006 top
When I have to talk about my work or what the content is I feel like being asked to talk about a book I haven’t quite read yet.
Because you so insist that there be a subject matter and so that for your own pleasure you may have something to converse and argue about I shall give you what you desire.
11/06
My paintings should not be about having to add more texture because it creates a surface, it should not be about so or so or so but rather about the process creating the final image. Doing whatever it takes to make it look visually right to the observers/my eye. If texture helps or is needed to make the piece work, well then texture will be added.
Color – pastels mixed with bold strong colours.
Allowing the eye to move around the painting in a fluid manner.
Be it with the help of colour or shape, directing the eye.
My position is that works should offer the viewer something. My desire is to create work that will allow the observer to walk away with something. That helps them even just a tiny step forward, wherever they may be in life.
Personally I feel that paintings should be visually attractive and entertaining to some extent.
The little beauties of life are what encourage me and have me moving forward.
Having something you can look at that will calm and ease the viewer.
10.2006 top
You know what is beautiful? Red nail polish on beautiful tiny fingernails. Red nail polish makes every movement glamorous and delicious. It’s a real narcissistic color. You know what is even more beautiful? Red finger nails holding a glass full of thick, pompous delightful red wine. I’m becoming a little poetic as I’m sitting here my wine and food on the left, the computer in front and gallery releases on my right, slowly letting Cullum swoon through my ear and around my body filling my soul and hear with envy these soothing sounds. My heart pounds a little faster when his music plays in the background and my entire inside gets ripped apart listening intently.
01.2006 top
Is it a feeling of freedom
A feeling that lacks now
Seeing it through and through
A claustrophobia, as structures
Close in on me
Das Darsein, nah und nah
But the presence
Far and far suits me better
2005 top
As soon as he falls
Feeling like he was
Falling was not the matter
Falling was all he had
Catching the breath
Running his hand through
His hair, a dark mink
Bouncing his foot, feeling beat
His collar had curled
His sock slid down
A tear, salty down his cheek
How could the light be so bright?
It was night he thought
But dawn had come.
12.2005 top
Abstraction is the best way for me to tolerate seeing and living with what’s in your mind.
If I had to make what’s inside me as real as possible I think it would turn to kitsch or I would throw up.
I’ve been told that I should not be afraid of making art that is kitsch. But truth is, that is exactly what terrifies me. My art cannot be kitsch because fore me kitsch is a sign of repressed feelings; it’s a fake happiness.
I do not want to fake happiness, or fake feelings for that matter.
My work is all about feelings, about the tumult inside my head and “throwing-up” whatever gut feeling it is that churns in my stomach the moment I make contact with my work.
26.11.2005 top
Pouring through
I came along
Being there, aware and unaware
A stranger, the first, a marvel
And a try out, un-assure.
Along came yet one more
First one, then two then three
Be it there, all four.
Strong we unite, all of us.
Even stronger we are, for
A full three and three we represent
Later then you, you have to
You realize that in fact
As one you stand and one
You represent.
Pieces break, tears swallow
Voices untold, hide disguise
As never existent before
Comfort, oh such comfort
The gentle touch and eyes, I
Remember.
You were mine, he was mine
Then, it all went for her.
All strength, all feeling
It all went for her.
Well meant it was and from heart
So it did come, but so did pain
Thinness and fragile, bones is all I see
It was a hard tear that
Saltier than any, never seen.
Now it’s us four again
And only us six that count
Plus the two of course
Three if you count the passed.
But lonesome and alone
An aching and longing
I don’t think it will ever find
That yellow and glint
Not yet it has not.
11.2005 top
What if you had the inspiration, the idea, the energy, the mind set, the whole package right at your hands and suddenly you realize you let it slip away and you only got to hold on to a fracture of it a crumb is all you got out of it?
I think I might have just taken it for granted. Only now, now that I have nothing but confusion and empty at hand I realize how big this was, it was an energy bigger than anything I’ve felt with my art before. How do I get it back, I want it back. How could I have held on to it though? Or did it go because I wasn’t quite ready yet? What is it?
Maybe I just need to get going. But how? If I don’t know the next step?
No date top
Everyones' business seems to be everyone else’s business too. Elderly people walk past you and look till you look back and give a reply, a look, a smile, a frown, anything.
People stand next to each other almost on top of each other.
“Sie kommen sich nah”.
10.2005 top
it takes breathing and being there, I mean really being there (inside, outside, within, around) not just superficial, surfacing while a million things take place in your head, TV is running, people are talking and you feel every second like walking away and doing something else.
You have to feel it inside you to feel it outside you. When I manage to really work giving it my full attention it never just happens or happens every time, every day. It takes an accumulation of gained information and thoughts before it…
04.10.2005 top
Why, as insects fly
Do I wait, and you wait
For that moment when
Maybe they will not fly.
Is that so then, that when
Once we frame
Can we ever meet?
Do we touch or feel
One upon the other.
It feels like taste, a taste
All lost but remembered
We see it, and yet we d not
Do not speak of it.
Sad it seems, and sad if feels
It should, for the surface
Tomorrow the scratches are gone
By tonight I will feel again
But morning always forgets.
Lost, or is it caught?
No not lost
Just right here, tear us while
While we are.
01.10.2005 top
Ill y a quelq’un dans la monde je le sais, est il me manque. Dans la nuit je pleur pour lui, Seulement pour lui. Je le sens dans ma coeur que un part de moi manque, que je ne suis pas complet. Je le cherche, cette autre part, un demi de moi qui manque.
Cet un demi plus fort est sans lui je suis rien, j’ne fonctionne pas. Au quelle distance est le destin un desire pas seulement un desire mais un destin palpable?
Au quelle distance?
Quelque fois, c’est seulement toi est moi-
Quelque fois, il est seulement toi est moi pour toujours. Toi et moi dans tes bras, toujours. Tu me manque terriblement. Ma coeur pleur pour toi, tu me manque terriblement. Mon cheri.
MMM
Il l’aime, elle lui aime tambien. Aussi, je sais, l’autre est espangnol. Il est parti dans un monde different. Dans une vie qui lui fait oublier.
Elle lui cherche, pendant des années. Elle cherche toujours.
Désespéré, sans regret, seulement espoir. Sans lui, …elle veut pas panser de sa.
Il se s’passe, un jour, il a été trouvé, et elle va lui voir.
Elle s’assis, lui regard, lui regard toujours. Il sourit. Avec ce petit pli dans la joue. Il voit son amour, mais il a oublié, il ne se rappellera jamais. Jamais.Il regard son amour de sa vie.
The Whale
So when the brass comes.
When I walk down the stairs
The feelings curve
I feel it forcefully and painfully
Mind yourself, one is one too many
Once I am down I know
It will all begin again
Sometimes I see the whale
I saw the flukes of its tail
Bold and black
Was he dead? Or was I dreaming
I was screaming, but then
There they were, all of them.
Dry land too
And an old tea set
They wanted to buy it
Buy it all.
09.2005 top
The Futurist, here and there a final made decision. Aint it just? So stay, or come with me, will you not? You don’t have to think twice, it’s all about here, curiously about us and no one else, just you
just me.
07.04.2004 top
The Streams of Passion
Like a cold fish
Running in my veins
I fell the temptations
But not the equations
Hold me tight
I beg, I beg,
For love and passion
Sweep into my life
Hold me tight and
Caress my longing body.
I know it’s on its way
For I can feel it
I dream about it
Almost every night
But come soon
For I do not know
How long I can wait.
I have to wait
I know, passionate
The fish, cold, swims
Again through my veins.
It is great longing
Longing for the guy I have not
But only met in my dreams
I know that he is out there
He will find my veins and
With my fish, swim
The streams of passion.
|